If you can’t stand American Idol, going to see Blake Lewis is probably the most subversively destructive thing you could possibly do as an audience members. See, if even the losers go on to have successful musical careers, the competition will serve no purpose and will collapse under the weight of its own farce. Ha! Take that, Cowell, you smug British bastard.

Carlotta and Chris Merritt open (and don’t make us nearly as angry)