Essays
ESSAY- September slump: The empty nester's lament
Published on Sep 24th, 2009
0 comments You are a slacker, a dropout – you're the loser sneaking a cigarette behind the gym while the good kids are in algebra class. You are aimless and useless and worthless.  Or is it just me?...
ESSAY- How-to: We can stop ruining the Bay
Published on Sep 24th, 2009
0 comments Warm weather gets me jazzed about being outside– near the water, on the water, and eating anything that comes from the water. I'll drive four hours round trip just to get three hours on the...
ESSAY- September slump: The empty nester's lament
Published on Sep 17th, 2009
0 comments You are a slacker, a dropout – you're the loser sneaking a cigarette behind the gym while the good kids are in algebra class. You are aimless and useless and worthless.  Or is it just me...
ESSAY- The Nazis: We have met them, and they are us
Published on Sep 10th, 2009
11 comments Nazis. Americans are Nazis. We are Nazis. Godwin's Law, the theory that any policy discussion devolves into accusations that someone's a Nazi, be damned. It's impossible to read the newly-released...
ESSAY- Going postal: My dad the collector and criminal
Published on Sep 3rd, 2009
0 comments When I was a boy, before girls got interesting and video games got good and the Internet became my main source of information, I collected stamps. There was much about collecting that I loved. The...
ESSAY- Worse than Jaws: Why it's not safe to go in the water
Published on Aug 27th, 2009
0 comments Dr. Mark Rennaker has surfed San Francisco's Ocean Beach for three decades and suffered from repeated sinus, lung, eye and ear infections. As a general practitioner, he has offered frequent...
ESSAY- All a Gog: The real reason we invaded Iraq
Published on Aug 20th, 2009
0 comments Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible's satanic agents of the Apocalypse. Honest. This...
ESSAY- I spy: Why I gave up my American freedoms
Published on Aug 13th, 2009
0 comments Better than a potty-cam, right?flickr.com/stillframe/ Oh, no– another one, gone over to the dark side." That's what my friend, Hank, said recently as I flaunted my new, high-tech toy. Hank's...
ESSAY- Death sentences: How early obits change change history
Published on Jul 30th, 2009
0 comments The "late" Abe Vigoda Though not meriting inclusion in Webster's, there's a word for a death announcement that publicly kills off celebrities before their time: Vigodaed. The verb derives from a...
ESSAY- New mission: No child left inside
Published on Jul 30th, 2009
0 comments When I was a kid, about all I ever did inside was sleep, eat, and torment my grade school teachers. Every other waking moment was spent outside– not just fishing, hunting, and camping, but...
ESSAY- Two if by sea: When you're an interested surf-gazer
Published on Jul 9th, 2009
0 comments The merger of dolphin and shark at the Outer Banks last summer made for an unsavory view.FILE PHOTO BY HAWES SPENCER Uh oh. I spot a triangular fin about 50 feet off shore. Shark, or dolphin?...
ESSAY- A grief observed: Remembering Carol
Published on Jul 9th, 2009
0 comments The author and his wife, Carol.FILE PHOTO "I will turn to her as often as possible in gladness. I will even salute her with a laugh. The less I mourn her the nearer I seem to her. Admirable...
ESSAY- Frugal or cheap: How to tell which is which
Published on Jul 2nd, 2009
1 comments Today's sagging economy has us all thinking frugality. And frugality is a good thing. Cheapness, however, is not. To know the difference, let's start with a look at Hetty Green. Her contemporaries...
ESSAY- Big risk: You can't handle the truth?
Published on Jun 25th, 2009
0 comments I have alleles that suggest that I have a lower than average risk of suffering from rheumatoid arthritis. Other alleles, however, indicate that I am slightly more likely to experience age-related...
ESSAY- Sorry, but... How I killed the Chesapeake Bay
Published on Jun 18th, 2009
0 comments Warm weather gets me jazzed about being outside. If I'm not outside, I'm thinking of getting outside– about being near the water, on the water, and eating anything that comes from the water....
ESSAY- Little papers: Will they become the surviving cockroaches?
Published on Jun 11th, 2009
0 comments You wonder if they saw it coming– tyrannosaurs and pterodactyls and whatever, lumbering around, scarfing down ginkgo trees or each other, when one of them, glancing skyward, says, "Hey, do...
ESSAY- Manliness issue: Why murder-suicide appears more often
Published on Jun 4th, 2009
1 comments Consider these recent headlines: - "Teen Escapes as Father Kills Family" (in Florida) - "Maryland Town Anguished, Baffled After Man Kills Wife, Three Children and Self" - "Four Dead in Baltimore...
ESSAY- FCC follies: You can't say **** on television
Published on May 28th, 2009
0 comments   On December 9, 2002, Cher received a lifetime achievement trophy at the Billboard Music Awards. Overcome with emotion, the Armenian-American singer noted that she had faced "critics for...
ESSAY- Fat people: They don't have to take it anymore
Published on May 21st, 2009
0 comments It's finally happening: fat people in America are getting fed up. They're tired of taking it on their cushioned chins from every comedian and commentator on national television, who otherwise would...
ESSAY- Obama's botch: He just asked us to drive more
Published on May 14th, 2009
0 comments "We can utter a sentence rarely heard," President Obama told the U.S. Department of Transportation in April. "This government effort is coming in ahead of schedule and under budget." Unfortunately...
ESSAY- Going viral: Connecting to dots in the digital age
Published on May 7th, 2009
0 comments Bathed in the glow of my monitor, I'm swinging from one swine flu link to the next. With revved-up heartbeat, I scan the text as fast as I can, interrupting my husband's reading every now and again...
ESSAY- Carbon monoxide: What you don't know can hurt you
Published on Apr 30th, 2009
0 comments The Hook's April 9th cover story told a harrowing CO tale.HOOK COVER You can't see it or smell it. It doesn't irritate your skin or nose. If you do feel sick before you pass out from carbon monoxide...
ESSAY- With friends like these: What's wrong with Facebook
Published on Apr 23rd, 2009
0 comments They say you can never have too many friends, but obviously "they" aren't on Facebook. Facebook, for those of you who have been too busy thinking how much better this column would be had it been...
ESSAY- A plea: Don't ask this UVA grad about his job
Published on Apr 16th, 2009
1 comments Most people would think twice before asking a casual acquaintance about a private matter. For instance, you wouldn't ask a co-worker how his divorce was shaping up or ask a friend's daughter why she...
ESSAY- Lit-ville: I am my books, and my books are me
Published on Apr 9th, 2009
1 comments Whoa, check out these titles: Sodome et Gomorrhe by Marcel Proust, Verlaine's Oeuvres Poetiques, And all those books about philosophy and linguistics.  Whose bookshelves are these? Somebody...
ESSAY- Shame on who: It no longer works, Mr. President
Published on Mar 26th, 2009
0 comments Obama on the AIG bailout: "Like they've got a bomb strapped to them, and they've got their hand on the trigger, you don't want them to blow up, but you've got to ease them off the trigger."xxx The...
ESSAY- Anastasia Manahan: The art of the imposter
Published on Mar 19th, 2009
0 comments The real Anastasia sits at the knee of her mother Alexandra Romanov, in this hand-colored photograph.FILE PHOTOThe real Anna Manahan and newlywed husband, Jack, hoist an invitation to Richard Nixon'...
ESSAY- Chain reaction: What's wrong (and right) about these stores
Published on Mar 19th, 2009
0 comments Urban Outfitters is slated to open May 21, according to a company spokesperson.PHOTO BY HAWES SPENCER Walking along the Downtown Mall– to and from work during the week or with my dog during...
Chain reaction: What's wrong (and right) about these stores
Published on Mar 19th, 2009
0 comments   Urban Outfitters is slated to open May 21, according to a company spokesperson. PHOTO BY HAWES SPENCER Walking along the Downtown Mall– to and from work during the week or with my dog...
ESSAY- Chain reaction: What's wrong (and right) about these stores
Published on Mar 19th, 2009
0 comments Urban Outfitters opened May 21.PHOTO BY HAWES SPENCER Walking along the Downtown Mall– to and from work during the week or with my dog during the weekend– is one of my favorite parts of...