The week in review

Best celebrity wedding: Mary Chapin Carpenter got married outdoors in downtown Batesville on Saturday, June 1– to a real carpenter. Dave Matthews and Sissy Spacek attend, but rumored appearances by the likes of Garth Brooks, Willie Nelson, Bruce Springsteen, and Trisha Yearwood appear to be dust in the wind.

Worst gaffe by a local congressional candidate: Meredith Richards reportedly doesn’t know who Jim Jeffords is when she appears on WINA on Monday, June 3. Jeffords, a Republican who turned Democrat and ended Republican control of the Senate, has party-switching in common with Richards’ opponent, Virgil Goode.

Best news for Republican Senator John Warner: He will run for re-election unopposed

Best name to drop with Charlottesville bluesman Corey Harris: It’s Martin Scorsese, who will profile Harris in his six-part miniseries, The Blues, according to the May 29 Washington Post, which featured a glowing review of Harris’ latest CD, Downhome Sophisticate.

Worst words to find linked with Virginia in a case going before the Supreme Court: Cross burning, as in, is the state’s ban unconstitutional?

Best use of the “retarded” defense: Arson charges against former Stony Point volunteer firefighter Frank Jamme, 34, are dropped based on the results of a competency evaluation, reports the Daily Progress’ Adrienne Schwisow.

Worst surprise when digging under the front porch: Robert Dawson discovers fuel storage tanks buried under his porch, has two contaminated wells, and is suing First Virginia Bank-Blue Ridge for allegedly concealing the contamination when he bought his house, reports Austin Graham in the Progress.

Best sign NIMBYs are serious: Lewis Mountain residents opposed to UVA’s new parking garage hire lawyers.

Worst missed Hollywood connection: Academy Award winner Ben Affleck tells the Washington Post that he was accepted at University of Virginia but chose to follow a girlfriend to University of Vermont instead, where he lasted all of a month.

Worst implications for potential terrorists lurking on The FBI could be monitoring the site.

Worst new word of the week: “Ephebophiles,” which the Catholic Church is using to describe priests attracted to adolescents, as distinct from your basic pedophile, reports the Washington Post.

Worst accidental deaths: Former UVA professor Dante Lee Germino is killed when he’s hit by a train in Amsterdam, and Keswick resident Abel Justin Morel dies when his pickup truck rolls and strikes him as he is unloading bags of cement, according to Progress reports.

Best way to help people forget that a mental health facility has racked up heaps of violations: Millmont Center has a new name– The Brown Schools of Virginia.

Worst penalty for conserving water: The Rivanna Water and Sewer Authority proposes a 16 percent increase in water and sewer bills because city residents have been using less water.

Best news for county elders who need affordable assisted living: The Windham in Crozet is not closing, and the Progress reports it’s now called Mountainside Senior Living.

Worst rude awakening for slumbering seniors at the Windham: Gunshots ring out across the street at the Mountain View Grill at 1am May 27, according to a David Dadurka and Reed Williams story in the Progress. Illegal dancing may have been a factor.

Best estimate of damage from gunshots: Mountain View Grill owner Stuart Birckhead estimates damages from shattered windowpanes and broken chairs and tables to be $28.

Best gritty look for a mall: Fashion Square Mall is gutted and is a major construction zone– and the ripped out ceiling, barricades, and wooden ramps add an urban edginess you don't usually find in suburban malls.