The week in review
Best insta-trend: Not since the "Oracle of Bacon" emerged in 1996 (to measure connections between actors) has a UVA-based trend caused as many smiles as "High Five Day," whose third annual celebration is slated for April 15.
Best dialogue: City police meet with outraged community members April 12 over the so-called "buccal" swabbing in the search for the serial rapist that has caused over 600 black males to give a DNA sample.
Best parody of Condi Rice: Janet Jackson appears on Saturday Night Live April 10 and– you guessed it– faux flashes the camera.
Best employment news: The Labor Department says April 8 that unemployment is at its lowest level nationally since January 2001. Just don't tell that to hard-hit Southside Virginia.
Best get for Orange County: Defense contractor Aerojet-General Corporation expects to add 149 new, non-minimum wage-paying jobs to its expanded facility in that county, John Yellig reports in the Daily Progress.
Best get for DMB's manager: Coran Capshaw adds the former Technicolor plant in pastoral Greene County to his burgeoning real estate empire, paying $1.6 million, according to Olympia Meola in the Progress.
Briefest escape: A Louisa man takes off for four hours April 12 while being driven to court. Police suspect his girlfriend may have slipped him a handcuff key, Julie Stavitski reports in the Progress.
Best name for the man on the lam: Yah Yah Rueben-Elijah Veney.
vu: For the second time in less than two years, the pastor of Holy Comforter Catholic Church is put on leave following allegations of sexual abuse. The Rev. Dennis Murphy stepped in in August 2002, when Father Julian Goodman resigned over charges he molested a boy in the 1970s. Murphy is on leave pending an investigation.
Best second act: UVA's current Student Council President Daisy Lundy, the victim of an alleged attack a year ago, has been nominated by the incoming president, Noah Sullivan, to be chief of staff.
Worst driving: UVA police officer Jeremy Tabler is charged with felonious assault with a motor vehicle when he allegedly strikes the woman he lives with in Staunton April 4 as he tries to leave their home with a dog the woman claims is hers, according to the Progress.
Worst loss of a civil rights leader: Raymond Lee Bell, who ran J.F. Bell Funeral Home and helped desegregate Charlottesville schools, dies April 3 on his 77th birthday.
Most visitors: Monticello greets its 25-millionth visitors– the Wang family of Cresskill, New Jersey– April 9 and gives them a basket of Monticello memorabilia and lifetime passes.
Best way to get free trees: Join the National Arbor Day Foundation, which is giving away 10 shade trees, including a red oak, weeping willow, and river birch– to each new member who contributes $10 by April 30.
Worst news for Ivy Leaguers: Princeton vows to curb grade inflation and reduce the number of As from 46 percent to 35 percent.
Best self-Caesarean: A 40-year-old woman in Mexico who lives eight hours from the nearest hospital downs three glasses of liquor and delivers a healthy boy using a kitchen knife, the Washington Post reports.
Worst case of "if thy right eye offend thee...": A man accused of killing his son, estranged wife, and her daughter in Sherman, Texas, plucks out his own eye. According to the Post, Andre L. Thomas, 21, quotes Mark 9:47: "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."