Man or myth? Do single guys over 45 exist?
Have you heard the one about the guy who goes out with a hot girl, blacks out, and wakes up in a bathtub of ice water minus a kidney?
Urban legends are everywhere, and Charlottesville has one all its own (though you heard it here first):
A beautiful, intelligent 50-year-old woman finds herself suddenly single in Charlottesville. She goes a long time without a date, but finally she's asked out by an attractive single man.
They go on three dates, and then he invites her back to "his place." When she gets there, she sees "his place" lacks a few creature comforts: He lives in a 1978 Buick stockpiled with weapons. Even worse? He shares it with his wife and two children.
That tale, like other urban legends, isn't actually true. But according to nearly every unattached woman over 45, it's not much of a stretch.
Judy was one of those women. A 52-year-old animal lover and running coach who enjoys cooking dinner and sipping wine with friends, Judy wanted to see if the Matchmaker could make her a decent match.
A promising prospect appeared in the form of Bill, a 48-year-old CPA who loves movies, music, and travel. An added bonus: He can cook– and even cleans up after the meal! And, he swore, "I'm not a boring accountant."
But do the words "1978 Buick" mean anything to Bill?
We sent Judy and Bill to the brand new Zocalo in Central Place on the Downtown Mall
Bill: I was first. I arrived a couple of minutes before 7pm. The restaurant and bar were both pretty busy, so I opted for a table and was immediately seated. I ordered a draft beer, looked briefly at the menu, and then looked around for my date. She arrived a few minutes later, but it took her several minutes to get through a larger party who couldn't decide what they wanted to do.
Judy: I did not allow ample time for parking. The entrance to Zocalo was crowded, so a few minutes lapsed just waiting to see the hostess.
Bill: She came in wearing a warm coat because it was 20 degrees outside. She was wearing dark slacks and a dark sweater. She had a warm smile and seemed outgoing and confident. She looked great. We started talking and ordered a glass of wine for her; then we looked at the menu for appetizers. She didn't seem nervous at all, and we just started talking about stuff.
Judy: He had a nice smile, hair, firm handshake, and a pleasant voice. He wasn't goofy! I thought he was attractive. He was wearing a dark sweater over a red checked shirt, khakis, blue sport coat. I was impressed that he stood up when I approached the table.
Bill: We were seated facing each other at the table, and we quickly realized after Judy sat down that due to the noise level, we would need to sit closer in order to be able to hear each other. I moved to the next seat so we could be closer and actually hear each other.
Judy commented that the guacamole sauce with her chicken was spicy, so I tried a taste. I thought it was great, and it certainly had a kick. My steak was delicious, and I offered her some to try. She had eaten at the restaurant before, and I recall her saying she'd had the steak. The staff was very attentive. There were none of those moments where the waitress asks, "How is everything?" when you have a mouth full of food. Great service.
Judy: I had mussels for the appetizer and chicken for dinner. We shared the appetizers, and I have a small piece of his steak in my refrigerator. He said he didn't get a taste of the chicken. I must have been hungry. How rude of me! The mussels were served with the shell in a broth that was spicy, not overcooked and enough for two. Presentation was good, adequate portions. Nice selection of wines and beer. I enjoyed the food. Everyone was attentive, friendly, and knowledgeable. The space between courses was perfect. One thing: Zocalo is a bit noisy.
What did you talk about?
Bill: Where we were from and all kinds of things. Turns out she's a Charlottesville native, but had only recently returned to town after having lived other places. We talked about our interests, whether we had kids, what ages, what we did for a living. We're both divorced. Judy's a runner and also wants to buy a bicycle, so we talked about those things. We talked about movies we had seen, our music tastes. Judy really likes dancing. We didn't talk politics, but religion did get in there, somehow– I can't remember why. She talked about her daughter and son and told me what they were like.
Judy: We talked about food and wineries. Shared stories about our past. Talked briefly about how we pay the bills. It was easy to listen and talk with Bill. I didn't have a feeling of awkwardness in any of the conversations.
Bill: Our first cars were Volkswagen Beetles. Hers was a 1965, mine a 1971. We both like music, movies, being active. She has a pet-sitting business, which isn't your run of mill undertaking. I also came away with the impression she's a good mom. Her high-school-aged son called after dinner to say he was staying over at a friend's house. You can tell a lot by how a person talks to their kids. I think we agreed that while Charlottesville is a great place to live, it's a place geared to families and not so much to single people. It's not the easiest place to meet new people.
Judy: We share an interest in aviation, exercise, sports, Jimmy Buffett, all types of music. We even engaged in car talk. He likes to fly small aircraft.
Anything you didn't like?
Bill: Not really
Judy: He said, "I don't dance." (But you could teach him!Matchmaker)
How did it end?
Bill: We went to Escafé for a drink in a quieter place, and talked some more. We left about 11:30 or so, then walked to her car, where we exchanged phone numbers.
Judy: Bill was the perfect gentleman the entire evening. I tend to touch people when talking, but Bill didn't slap my hand. We laughed and talked until after 11. He walked me to my car, and I offered him a ride to his car. He accepted.
Did you kiss?
Judy: TMI (Too much info)
Would you say this person is your type?
Bill: I don't know what my type really is. We had a great time, conversation was easy and fun. I was looking to meet someone new in this town, and so was she. We have several common interests and experiences.
Judy: I honestly am not sure. That would require more time together.
Would you go out again?
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best, how would you rate the date?
Bill: 8.75 (definitely an accountant...)
Looks like the Matchmaker just debunked that urban legendthanks for your assistance, Bill and Judy!