Worst headlines: Has the <I>Onion</I> bought the <I>Progress</I>?

The Daily Progress unveiled a redesign in January and moved local news to the front page. The new look uses what appears to be a one-size-fits-all template that might work well at other Media General papers such as the Danville Register Bee or the Lynchburg News & Advance.

One unintended consequence of the new layout is that quite often the headline has nothing to do with the picture, separated by faint lines, immediately under it. Hilarity ensues, but the Progress remains mum on whether the effect is deliberate.

And to be fair, over the months, the design did drift back to a more traditional layout in which the headline spreads across the actual story and photograph it's about.

But recently, we've noticed those zany juxtapositions are back. Is it the Progress' way of inviting us to celebrate the season?

"Tougher DUI laws proposed" ­ To rein in heavily armed troublemakers like this shepherd amid scary battle axes?

Audit questions lab's use of funds" ­ Heavy squandering on Cheez-Its suspected.

"Flu cases surge in region" ­ Monticello tapped to handle overflow?

"UVA leads in black graduates" ­ We don't even want to think what offensive subliminal message lurks here.

"Quake rattles Central Va." ­ But nothing stops the Messiah.

"North Anna plan spurs fears" ­ So much that citizens threaten to throw themselves off a bridge.

"Two deaths attributed to storm" ­ Underscoring the hazards of shopping cart shenanigans.

"Parkway land transfer set" ­ City Council swaps 9.2 acres for Greek salad.

"Range backers return fire" ­ With UVA CEO Leonard Sandridge ducking bullets.