The week in review
Worst fraternity hijinks: Kappa Alpha and Zeta Psi are suspended November 18 by their national headquarters and UVA's Inter-Fraternity Council after the frats post Halloween photos of an Uncle Sam in blackface and two men costumed as Serena and Venus Williams with brown-painted face on the internet, according to Natasha Altamirano at the Cavalier Daily.
Worst sorority hijinks: Kappa Kappa Gamma and Kappa Alpha Theta are also under investigation for the party out of bounds.
Best slap on the wrist: Kappa Alpha's suspension lasts all of two days until its national headquarters clears it, while Zeta Psi's social suspension cruelly prohibits alcohol.
Worst way to leave a kidnap victim: Naked and bound behind Kroger. The near-frozen 35-year-old man was discovered early Saturday, November 23, after being carjacked, assaulted, abducted, and robbed November 20 in Maryland, Claudia Pinto reports in the Daily Progress.
Best time to do away with the one-term limit for Virginia governors: Now. With the state faces staggering deficits, Gov. Mark Warner is gathering bipartisan support in the General Assembly for a constitutional amendment to repeal the law that makes every governor a lame duck, the Washington Post reports.
Worst threat to Pepsi-swilling teens: The Albemarle County School Board considers pulling soda and junk food from high school vending machines.
Best sign life is returning to normal après les water restrictions: Restaurants are 1) serving tap water 2) in real glasses.
Worst lawsuit: Corey Faison, acquitted of wanking off over a woman who'd been mowing her lawn, claims prosecutor Steven T. Buck defamed him when he commented that there's a difference between legal acquittal and innocence, Olympia Meola reports in the Progress.
Best irony: Faison is not suing Detective K.W. Robinson, who was convicted of assault and fired after a videotape showed him pummeling Faison.
Worst striking of fear in the hearts of scofflaws: Albemarle County Police announce a "zero-tolerance" policy for seatbelt violations as a result of 20 traffic fatalities so far this year.
Worst case of not being able to take a break from the family: When Congolese refugee Zawadi Katina, 23, disappears by choice for three days, her family reports her missing and has the police looking for her.
Worst place to park a Saab: The Hardware River, from which a possibly stolen car is hauled November 21.
Best demonstration: Hundreds gather in front of the Rotunda November 20 at the "Dissent is patriotic" protest opposing war with Iraq.
Worst display of parenting, part 1: King of Pop Michael Jackson dangles a baby, its head covered by a towel, over the balcony of a hotel in Berlin.
Worst display of parenting, part 2: Kevin Kelly, the Manassas father of 13 whose 21-month-old daughter, Frances, died after being left in the family van for seven hours, is convicted of involuntary manslaughter and child neglect.
Worst flashback to the days of Working Weekly : Jobs Weekly appears in the towering gray plastic news racks littering the area. Basically a giant classified section, the Media General paper promises over 1,300 job listings if you don't mind working in Lynchburg or Richmond.
Best tout for a local coffee shop: The New York Times says Higher Grounds wins "hands down" for the best coffee in town.
Worst loss for local nature lovers: Columnist Marlene Condon quits writing "Nature News" for the Daily Progress when the paper allegedly threatens to muzzle her sometimes controversial opinions.
Best showing by a former Hook contributor in the Judy Blume Contemporary Novel Grant contest: Mara Rockliff is a runner-up in the national contest.
Best line in the Observer on publisher Jeffrey Peyton's departure: "The story is there is no story."
Second best line: "End of story."
Best coming out of the closet: The Observer finally admits, in its first post-Peyton issue on November 20, that ex-Christian Coalition prez and Ronald Reagan Cabinet member Don Hodel owns parent company Main Street Media.