LETTER- Why misidentify me... twice?

Again, your publication has seen fit to publish my picture with someone else's name under it ["Question of the Week," June 7]. I don't know what problem you have with me, or who's paying you, or anything anymore, really. 

I would like to point out that I have been living in Charlottesville since 1989; I have played in a number of bands, all of which were better than any other bands out there and which seemed to be some sort of publicity black hole; I have written 17 books, the latest of which (There's Nothing Wrong with Smelling Like Bacon) was considered for the Newberry Prize; I have covered myself in industrial waste in a scathing commentary on the current administration's First Amendment violations... in 1995.

I have been a prime mover in the crusade against the Naked Woman Tax, and I have done a metric heck-ton of other fascinating things, many of them PG-13 or better. 

In all that time, I was not deemed "newsworthy." 

And yet, in the past six months, you have featured my august visage twice, and both times you have attributed the name of some other schlub to me. This shall not stand. 

Mr. Hawes Spencer (if that is indeed your real name), no, it shall not stand. I suggest a sissy-boy slap fight at 10 paces. Maybe that's it: you fear my name, Hawes. Why? 

Because "David Randolph Tyler Magill" is the most Episcopal, hoity-toity sounding name out there, far more so than "Hawes Spencer." Well, I shall bring the High Church might of all four names to bear upon you all. A reckoning is nigh. The day will come.

Tyler Magill

P.S. See you at Kegler's next Wednesday night as usual, and say hi to the missus.