DR. HOOK- Be like Spock: A Vulcan would use a Trojan
Vulcans rock! When I grew up watching Star Trek, I did not want to be the sexy, pause-talking, profound James T. Kirk. Even as a future doctor, I did not desire to be Dr. McCoy. Sulo was my hero since he was Oriental Asian like me– but what a bad haircut! Lt. Uhura– now that girl had style with a future blue tooth in her ear that looked like escargot. But she was still not my role model.
Mr. Spock was my role model. He was so logical. If you did anything illogical, he could knock you out with a simple Vulcan Pinch. (I still wish I could do that– especially to people who litter their cigarette butts. Discard them in your own trashcan, for goodness sake!) Sorry, I had an emotional moment– so unVulcan of me.
Mr. Spock was as strong as 10 men and had green blood (I wonder if it was yellow in his veins). He held his hand in a "V" shape to say, "Live long and prosper." And most of all, he needed and had sex only once every seven years. Would our world be better this way– only logical sex?
I always ask my new patients safety and wellness questions. Do you wear your seatbelt? Do you have a smoke detector and fire extinguisher? Are you are your partner monogamous (if in committed relationship)? Do you practice safe sex (if single)?
Let me tell you, I could have a Broadway smash hit using the responses I get.
I don't judge anyone's sexual practices. What I look for is to make sure no one gets hurt. What I'm concerned about is that 50 percent of pregnancies are unplanned, and 100 percent of STDs and HIV are unplanned. Condoms could prevent the majority of these "surprises," but there a million different reasons people don't use them during sex.
One of my best friends in high school got caught with a condom in his wallet when his mother accidentally washed his pants containing the wallet. After she passed out over the fabric softener, she asked him why he had it. I was so naïve back then. I asked him why he had it. Plus he was soooooo religious. He just smiled at me like that annoying man in the Enzyte commercials.
Many people are afraid they'll get caught with their pants down– or in my friend's case, his pants in the washer– by their family members, or worse yet, by their spouse (for those who have extramarital affairs). So out of sight = out of mind = unprotected sex.
Some men say wearing a condom is like listening to a Paris Hilton song– no sensation. (By the way, Paris. Get a chauffer!) I have some female patients who say they don't like the feeling of a condom. Well, you might not ski as well wearing a big jacket, but it prevents frost-bite. Walking in Manolo Blahnik shoes might hurt, but it gets you a hot date. Just remember: "Love Child" is more than just a Supremes' song.
Most women I talk to about condoms tell me they are too uncomfortable to ask the man to use one. There are female condoms which are almost as effective as male condoms. But the underlying issue is the fear women feel– will he dump me if I ask? Won't it ruin the moment? The best thought I can use is an analogy with food: a moment of pleasure through the lips is a long battle of fat on the hips. Bedsides pregnancy and cervical cancer, HIV is a serious concern for women.
In today's world, I don't know if Mr. Spock would need a condom. But if he did, logically he would use one. If a Vul-can do it, so can you.