LETTER- I'm not who you think I am
In the issue of The Hook #0604, there were a number of factual errors that I would appreciate you acknowledging and atoning for. To wit:
• my name is shown on page 34 to be "Tyler Magee." My name is actually "Tyler Magill."
• in the picture that is purported to be "Tyler Magee," a Causcasian male is shown. I, Tyler Magill, am in fact a black woman.
• C.W. Hlad is said to have been "house DJ for Tokyo Rose." He was not. The actual house DJ in those days was Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad.
• Rob Sheffield does not write for Rolling Stone, but rather is an author of pamphlets and screeds that try to convince the reader that a return to agrarianism, coupled with a greater appreciation for the message of the Pet Shop Boys' "West End Girls," is the only thing that can save our capsizing dinghy of a nation.
• There was no band named "Spbgma." The band was in fact called "Sbpgma." It's a common mistake.
• Atsushi did not sing "I Hate Charlottesville" in English. In fact, he sang in no language known to man.
• On page 36, you mention a "memorial concert" for Renée. There was no memorial concert at that time; it was a memorial radio show on WTJU. Since then, all concerts that have any sort of merit whatsoever are "memorial concerts" for Renée, and indeed for all of our friends, living or dead.
• Finally, a note of clarification. Renée did not telepathically know when I was coming in to get a haircut, hence I would not appear, unshorn, to find her with newspapers on the floor and "Common People" cued on the 8-track. I would have to burn certain sacred herbs and slam a half-fifth of Bärenjäger and, having alerted her thusly, I would make my way to WTJU 91.1FM, which we called "The Clam."
I hope you will print this in a manner befitting your incipient knowledge of your abject wrongness. If you really want to make it right, you can give me money. You know where I am.
D.R. Tyler Magill
3rd String Catcher, Galax Grandstanders (Rookie League), 1989-1994
P.S. The above dashes in the list of truths should be rendered as the ASCII character "0151" (also known as the "em-dash"). I would appreciate you rendering them as such. I refuse to do it myself, as I will not be paid to do so.
That is one fascinating letter, and we concede that we did, in fact, misspell Magill's name in a caption in last week's cover story. But we can't vouch for anything after that bullet point–editor.
FILE PHOTO BY WILLIAM WALKER