THE SPORTS DOCTOR- A gal can dream: Doctor's prescriptions for a great 2010
Now that y'all have read (and most likely disagreed with) my 10 most memorable moments of 2009, I've decided to take a page from the Washington Post and make a list of my top-10 wishes for sports in 2010. Some of these wishes will seem far-fetched, some nigh impossible, but these are wishes, right? If they were horses, beggars would ride....
1. Olympics– Four years ago, my very first column was a tirade against Bryant Gumbel and his unwarranted hatred of the Winter Olympics. If I recall (and I do), he said the Games were dull, boring, racist, and lacked "real sports." He pledged not to watch the Olympics and said he was marking time until March Madness. This year, I sincerely wish Bryant Gumbel would get off his high horse and realize that there's more to sports than Kobe and Shaq– or that he wouldn't dare to mouth off in Sweden about how skiing isn't a real sport.
2. Basketball– Who doesn't wish people would stop comparing Lebron James and Michael Jordan? Give it a rest, folks.
3. Baseball– Now that the Cubs have managed to dump Milton Bradley, maybe, just maybe, they could do themselves another favor by resigning Mark DeRosa. As a matter of fact, maybe the Cubs could realize that casting their stellar retinue of utility players to the winds is in large part responsible for the team's continued failings. For heaven's sake, don't trade Reed Johnson!
4. College Football– I know it's too much to ask for a complete dismantling of the BCS, but at the very least, I– and millions of other people– wish that the Bowl Championship Series would be brought to heel in 2010. Give us playoffs, real playoffs. There's no pussyfooting around it anymore– the BCS is a monopoly that violates just about every anti-trust law in this country and manages to get away with it because their business is college football and not cell phone technology. In 2010, they should be brought to their knees.
5. Boxing– Ah, if only 2010 could see Floyd Mayweather Jr. fight a real fight. What good does it do him to live in a fantasy world? If "Money" truly is the best, let him prove it this year with his fists, not his mouth. Also, wouldn't it be great if either Klitschko brother threw something other than a jab this year? I might faint dead away. And a viable American contender for the heavyweight title– wouldn't that be nice? I'd also love to have Jim Lampley over for supper.
6. Track– Usain Bolt decides, of his own accord, to take a blood test every day for six months leading up to a race (the blood stored so it can be tested in perpetuity). Wouldn't you love to be sure, once and for all, that someone out there could be clean and great at the same time?
7. College Football– Joe Paterno wins National Championship and then rides into the sunset.
8. Tennis– I sincerely wish that female tennis players would cease and desist from that infernal, grotesque, unnecessary, and hateful grunting, even if it takes a court order to accomplish. For heaven's sake, stop it. Immediately, as in right now. Let 2010 be the year nary a grunt is heard on center or any other court. (In tandem with this wish is that officials institute debilitating penalties for any and all grunts.)
9. NFL– Brett Favre goes away. Just away; I don't care where. Oh, and the Patriots go 0-16. They were cheating when they won those Super Bowls, remember?
10. College Football – UVA decisively defeats Virginia Tech. It may not be as great as a national championship, but it would be a step in the right direction. Oh, who am I kidding? It would be as great as a national championship.
Juanita Giles lives in Keysville where she makes videos and updates her http://thesportsdr.com/">Sports Doctor site.