Correction: Person, not company, gave money

Our September 5 cover story, "Angels among us: How Charlottesville is becoming a hot spot for start-ups," stated that Jaffray Woodriff's firm Quantitative Investment Management provided funds for start-up Vivid Cortex. Woodriff personally provided funds. We apologize for the error.


The dude's loaded!

The Hook deliberately published the error and then corrected it, all by themselves, so as to make it look like Woodriff called in the mistake, thus giving him the appearance of a self-aggrandizing philanthropist who wants everyone to know how generous he is. In reality, he doesn't care about anything but his family and squash, but since the spooks at the Hook hate independent wealth so much, they spend a lot of time and effort subconsciously programming people to think anyone rich who tries to be nice is doing it to make themselves appear to be giving back to the community. Plus he stands to gain from it so it's not philanthropy anyway, it's more like a hedge fund investment! Ha ha!

Even sparing a brother a dime is motivated by a subconscious and/or conscious intent for self interest. That's why the rich man balled his eyes out when Jesus Christ rebuked him! He made him cry, for God's sake!

Fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, and knowledge of the LORD is understanding. But how can we truly know the LORD if we can't be in His presence due to our fear of Him? It's a catch 22. What I don't get is if we're baptized we're free from sin yet we're told that we'll continue to sin even after we're baptized, but afterwards we're free from the laws the LORD gave us in the Old Testament. But then Jesus Christ said (and I paraphrase) if you loved me you would keep my commandments, so if we sin even once after we're baptized then whose commandments are we breaking, Christ's or the LORDS? Aren't they one and the same? It's a catch 22, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't, nobody can't sin, unless they're the Son of God, and why should we be impressed by that, since we weren't given the special powers to resist temptation? It's not our fault we're not immaculately concieved, and plenty of us get punished, or even die for things we didn't do as well. Plenty of us suffer more than Jesus Christ ever did in His life, he had lots of friends and admirers while he was alive, he even had a job where he was his own boss, he got to eat organic food without going on food stamps or even being tempted to go on food stamps. I mean if I had special powers to resist sin because I was the Son of God and chose to sin then I'd feel real guilty but I wasn't given those special powers, plus if Jesus Christ was came as an ordinary human being what's with the special powers to heal and resist temptation? Isn't that like performing great signs and wonders? What' the Bible say about that? And then there's the issue of seeking Christ's return, if we seek His return then we're seeking His Baptism, which is of the Holy Spirit and fire? I thought we could only be Baptised once, not twice. So why get Baptised with water if you eagerly and expectantly await His return? Then what about the ritual of Baptism being started by a Jew, John and then adopted by a Jew, Jesus Christ? Wouldn't that make water Baptism a Jewish ritual? Why aren't Jews getting Baptised? Then what's with people glaring at me, what's with the Holy Ghost always mischeivously messing with me on an hourly basis and driving me to insanity because the truth and meaning behind it all is never revealed? Am I supposed to believe God loves me simply because He allows me to live another day to be teased and mocked by Him? I mean Gee wiz. Then Jesus Christ says we can say anything we want about Him and be forgiven but blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. What's that supposed to mean? He didn't tell us, and nobody else seems to want to wager a guess either. As I said, it could have been the CIA that stole my cell phone, it could have been the Holy Ghost. That's reasonable doubt in my opinion and I'd acquit either of them, but I'd still want to know if somebody took my cell phone, because I don't remember dropping it, and then when I called it to find out if somebody found it, a man answered it, meaning it obviously worked, but then when I came to get it he said "it's kind of cracked up" but I took it home anyway and tried to call it from a land line phone and it didn't work, I couldn't answer it. Did that guy break it after he found it just to mess with me? If I say the he or somebody else must have, then you'll call me Satan the accuser. It's messed up, I tell you!

I wasn't backstage with Bon Jovi either. I felt the power of the Holy Spirit come over me with one hundred percent pure love. Plus when I was a kid cooking some oodles of noodles my shirt caught on fire and I got burned before I could take it off. Then a few years back I got paranoid and religiously manic and threw all my weed in my wood stove, making a sweet smell to the LORD. Yeah, it was just leaf, it wasn't perfect, and maybe I had ulterior motives, but hey, the cops never came anyway, a sacrifice is a sacrifice, a fire's a fire. Interestingly I was gonna be Baptised in Fredericksburg but then a preacher asked me if I really wanted to be Baptised there and I got to thinking and ended up making a plan to be Baptised in the Moorman's River, and then I got it in my head that I should read the Book Of Mormon before I got Baptised there, and then a bunch of other stuff happened that made me go crazy so I couldn't focus on the reading, cause my head wasn't calm enough, I did read the beginning, and then I started reading the Bible again because I felt like I should read it twice like Jimmy Two Times, Two Times. What's up with the other preacher man saying he doesn't have the authority to Baptise me when I ask to be Baptised no questions asked? Isn't that like claiming the authority to refuse Baptism to somebody who is seeking it? Who is the judge of whether someone truly believes or doesn't truly believe? He's still pretty cool, he bought me pizza and gave me a real chill cat, but I think he's just afraid or hesitant to have someone he thinks is crazy or has a bad rep be associated with his congregation. But if he'd Baptised me when I asked several weeks ago I might not have gone crazy I might be totally chill at the moment. It's like a catch 22, I tell you! People can be so uptight.

I'm supposed to be Scottish dancing right now with a girl from Brazil. How crazy is that?


I'm pushing for 232 comments.

Has anyone ever called you that?

Did you?

I saw a flake.

I saw a guy from Qatar get mad over nothing. Then I saw an American guy get mad over nothing. Then I got up and some sports club yuppie said, "You can't do that man!" like I had just broken a serious taboo. Then I said, "Oh, I'm sorry about that"

That's what he does for a living. I'd call him Santa Claus but he's a Beanpole!

Then I waited until the point was over and got up and had a chocolate covered strawberry and another cracker with cheese.

Try it you'll like it!
Entertainment nonstop-

We're coming for you! I look forward to meeting you Bill Gates, Rockefeller, Elizabeth, Carlos, Kissinger, Wolfowitz, Brzezinski, all of you illuminati scum, we're gonna show you the same amount of mercy you've shown us. Say your prayers to the god of this world!

You think this is over? It is over. I'm done!

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.

Dick Cheney, John P Holdren, Cass Sunstein, Susan Powers, Beatrix, Bernhard, the list goes on and on. WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, SCUM!


When our former patient makes the national news, don't say you weren't warned.


Was Nazi Balls in there too?

Calling all alumni, Homecoming weekend is right around the corner. Our entertainment committee has lined up several truther rap groups since they are popular among both our present and former residents. I hear that they even have birther group Locked (AKA the 47s) tapped to perform. That supposed to be a secret, but danged if I can keep it.

Who's got my headies?