Wishin' and hopin': How Santa can make sports fans happy

If you haven’t sent your letter to Santa yet, you’d better get on the ball. Christmas is just a few weeks away, and time is running short. I have informally polled sports fans and have compiled the first annual Sports Doctor’s Christmas Wish List.

1. Never to hear Andrew Luck’s name again
Heard of the “Suck for Luck” campaign? According to CNN, Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck is “probably the best (quarterback) to come out of college since Peyton Manning in 1998” and has single-handedly turned the NFL on its head by changing many a  team’s strategy from winning to losing. In his junior year, Luck completed 70.7 percent of his passes for 3,338 yards, 32 touchdowns, and had just eight interceptions. Is it any wonder the “Suck for Luck” movement is almost as big as Occupy Wall Street? With fans of the Dolphins, Redskins, Colts, Vikings, and Rams all hoping to nab year 22-year-old, it’s a cinch we’ll hear his name much more and more. Ugh.

2. Pacquiao-Mayweather
A kid can dream, right?

3. Never to hear Tim Tebow’s name again.
As far back as 2007, there were websites devoted to how the sound of Tebow’s name made people sick, and nothing has changed. Today Tebow is, according almost anyone with an opinion, the most polarizing player in the NFL. Does he regularly and frequently profess his faith on and off the field? You bet. Has he lived up to the hype surrounding his draft? Absolutely not. The combination of profound faith and substandard play means everyone has an opinion about him, but can’t the media take pity and not express so many opinions so often?

4. That the Redskins will get rid of Rex Grossman, John Beck, Ryan Torain, Santana Moss, Anthony Armstrong, Brandon Banks, Jabar Gaffney, Fred Davis, and the entire offensive line. They can keep Roy Helu, though.
So much for two reasonable performances; in their recent game against the New York Jets, the Redskins offense proved what everyone has known for a long time: it’s woefully inept and incompetent. CSNWashington offered these distressingly typical observations. “Rex Grossman had by far his poorest game of the season; it was surprising to see Jabar Gaffney involved as little as he was; the Redskins had a golden chance to take a 17-10 half-time lead…(b)ut then came a needless delay of game…and two Grossman incompletions; the Redskins squandered good field position to start the second half; the third quarter was a return to the bad old days of the Redskins offense.”

Andrew Luck, anyone?

5. That Tiger would win a major or do something great so I can be proved right about his comeback
When Tiger Woods won the Chevron World Challenge on December 4, he hadn’t won a tournament in 749 days. The golf world is so anxious to get the old Tiger back that a single win in a tournament Woods himself hosts was all it took for CBS Sports to claim, “It looks clear that Woods is on an upward path.” Wasn’t it just a month ago Tiger Woods and Steve Stricker tied for the worst loss in Presidents Cup history? The pair didn’t have one birdie and bogeyed three. If that’s an upward path, I know a lot of world-class golfers.

6. That I would beat (fill in the blank) at fantasy football
You’re a day late and a dollar short on that one.

Oh, well. You know what they say: If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Juanita lives on a farm in Charlotte County with her husband, son, and many dogs.


Tim Tebow, hate him all you want, is leading Denver to the playoffs. Bad draft? WRONG
fatty air it out Rex is playing a lot better, the Jets game, YESTERDAY, not "recently" is not on his shoulders.

@Pete: I made the decision to upload this column early as a treat for readers, so don't scold Juanita because the word "recently" coulda been more specific; scold me.--hawes spencer

Treat for readers!!?? That's rich. Consider yourself scolded for capriciously deleting my earlier post. And for continuing to offer Juanita Giles a platform for her bad writing.

When that road was open, I used it three times: the first was at night and it was deserted, and I saw a fox run by; the second was at about 10:30 a.m. and I saw the fox again--run over and dead now; the 3rd time was at 5:30pm and there were 20-30 (no exageration) cars heading south on the roar all backed up at Melbourne, all hoping to turn left. Draw your own conclusions.

for unknown reasons this got posted in the wronglace. It is a description of the futility of opening the Rio-melbourne connector.

No more Sports Doctor. No more. It's just awful.

Tim Tebow da truth mane. Juanita Giles not mane

Hawes: Glad you're trying to do sports in The Hook. The Hook is better than this, though. A lot better.

The Sports Doctor is terrible.

All I want for Xmas is for the sports Dr to go away. Or maybe she could actually get a press pass, or even buy a ticket and attend the contests she writes about. Going to a game once in a while might actually make your horrid column more tolerable...

When was the last time you watched real sports in person Giles?